Happy Birthday Barry
After 21 years of living I realize one thing that is constant/true/. Life is like a dick, sometimes it gets hard for no reason.
Yes, the emo wave just hit me since yesterday. I am not sure what, why and how. One possible explanation is that I didn’t revise enough for my test at all and realized how much I have lagged behind in my studies, and did really cui for test today.
Or maybe, I can feel my parents’ longing for me to get back home and celebrate my birthday with them. All their sons are out now, 2 in australia and 2 staying elsewhere. Hence maybe they are really missing their sons and one of them is me.
Or maybe, I just need someone really really close to talk to. Since young it has always been tough for me to entrust my trust to others. And I thought I do not need friends. I have already 4 close brothers, why bother to make friends when friendships are always so shallow and sometimes superficial?
Or maybe, I just need a girlfriend which many have pointed out. I do not believe in this point though, I believe its bullshit.
Or maybe, Today is just not one of my days where the stars are aligned in such a way where nothing is going to make me feel good or happy no matter how much I try or others try. Trust me, this is the first time sooo many different groups of friends celebrating my birthday. Yet, I do not really feel happy at all. I am not sure why.
After a talk with my bro. I felt happy again. Maybe is this familiarity and closeness we forged since young that manages to pull me together. So grateful to have him as my brother. May he be happy and safe in Australia =).
